This is Thirty

What’s the most important lesson you learned in your twenties?

It seems like an obvious question, yet until my friend asked me this last night I had not considered it. As I transition out of my twenties, I have been taking a look back at 30 of my most proud moments from this past decade. A primary motivator for this walk down memory lane has been to keep me from giving myself a list of things I want to do in this upcoming decade. I have a tendency to push myself forward without giving myself space to pause and appreciate a job well done.

As I considered her question, I realized that this pause to celebrate accomplishments is a lesson in itself and something I have avoided for years.

Own it. I answered her. Own your accomplishments and achievements and don’t be afraid to celebrate them.

Even as I said it, I felt uncomfortable to think of how that might look on a daily basis, without the shield of my birthday to hide behind. I have always been of the mind that good work speaks for itself. But if my twenties have taught me anything it is that one’s work is not always obvious. People see the end result and, if one isn’t broadcasting the hours and sweat required to make it possible, think it was effortless. Top it off with my cheery demeanor and tendency to be on to the next project before the paint is dry on the current one, folks might even think it was easy.

I have been afraid to share my proud moments for fear of being mistaken for pride. My sense of self-worth is placed in who I am, not what I have done. I have told myself, If someone sees me for who I am and expresses curiosity in what brought me here, I am happy to share my story with them, but I do not need to broadcast it. This reasoning left me feeling overlooked and as though I had no voice. Sharing one’s experiences or opinions does not mean he or she is bragging; it gives credibility and context. When others share their accomplishments I am happy for them and excited to watch what they may do next. Why can I not give myself this same perspective? .

My 30 before 30 journey has been a challenge for me, but fun and healthy. It is helping me become more comfortable with speaking out about what I have done, am doing, or hope to do. This website is also an exercise in owning my passions, talents, and hopes. I will admit, I still have not figured out the balance. But I won’t expect myself to reverse my habits overnight.

I hope you will be patient with me as I navigate this journey and offer mercy if ever I err on the side of boasting (the possibility terrifies me!)

I guess this is thirty.